2 Steps Forward 1 Step Back
October 20, 2012
Yesterday was a long, emotional and scary day. I spent the day with Jordan and his breathing was fast and labored. It was hard to get him to sleep and he was just uncomfortable. He had several "d-sats" each one getting scarier and harder for him to recover. Just after 7pm, Jordan stopped breathing and turned gray--he appeared lifeless and even the nurses looked scared. One of the nurses "bagged" him to force air into his lungs while others came rushing to his side to see what else needed to be done. The supervising NP pulled Ryan and me aside to sign a form saying they could put him on a breathing machine if he didn't recover.
Over the past several weeks Jordan has been up and down, but this is the first time we honestly thought we might lose him. There are no words to describe the feeling when you suddenly wonder if this little baby you brought into the world and have watched and hoped and prayed for over the past 10 months may not be a part of your life. You want to rush into the middle of the nurses and hold his hand and capture those last few minutes...your mind races trying to see what you can do to help and then realizing you can only wait and watch.
After some really tense minutes, he started to pull out although his color didn't return. The nurses and nurse practitioners did chest x-rays, pulled spinal fluid, took blood from a few different areas, hooked him up to an antibiotic, and ran tests for hours. Since he also had a fever they thought it might be meningitis or pneumonia. The chest x-ray showed streaks like pneumonia as well as a small pneumothorax, which is essentially air outside of the lung that collapses the lung and makes it harder to breath. The lab tests indicated he did not have meningitis, although even with pneumonia, his body is too weak to support him through sickness and the nurse said his little body just wears out and then he stops breathing.
The doctors have to figure out how to keep fluid from getting into his lungs or he may just keep getting sick and not breathing. We are so grateful that it isn't meningitis and there are always tender mercies in the midst of these trials. I was able to spend the night and stay near him. He had one more minor episode during the night and then spent most of today sleeping and recovering from his traumatic night.
Today, they have IV's hooked up with fluids and started him back on food this afternoon. Overall today was a much better day and he is looking much better. Until we get cultures back and see how he progresses this next week we won't be bringing him home like the doctors and us had hoped. Hopefully he will be ready the next week.
Our biggest fear right now is that we get him home, he gets pneumonia--or even a regular cold--and stop breathing, although this time we end up being the only people there to do CPR while we and our kids wait for an ambulance and paramedics to arrive.... Here's to hoping that never becomes a reality.
A few pictures from today:
Over the past several weeks Jordan has been up and down, but this is the first time we honestly thought we might lose him. There are no words to describe the feeling when you suddenly wonder if this little baby you brought into the world and have watched and hoped and prayed for over the past 10 months may not be a part of your life. You want to rush into the middle of the nurses and hold his hand and capture those last few minutes...your mind races trying to see what you can do to help and then realizing you can only wait and watch.
After some really tense minutes, he started to pull out although his color didn't return. The nurses and nurse practitioners did chest x-rays, pulled spinal fluid, took blood from a few different areas, hooked him up to an antibiotic, and ran tests for hours. Since he also had a fever they thought it might be meningitis or pneumonia. The chest x-ray showed streaks like pneumonia as well as a small pneumothorax, which is essentially air outside of the lung that collapses the lung and makes it harder to breath. The lab tests indicated he did not have meningitis, although even with pneumonia, his body is too weak to support him through sickness and the nurse said his little body just wears out and then he stops breathing.
The doctors have to figure out how to keep fluid from getting into his lungs or he may just keep getting sick and not breathing. We are so grateful that it isn't meningitis and there are always tender mercies in the midst of these trials. I was able to spend the night and stay near him. He had one more minor episode during the night and then spent most of today sleeping and recovering from his traumatic night.
Today, they have IV's hooked up with fluids and started him back on food this afternoon. Overall today was a much better day and he is looking much better. Until we get cultures back and see how he progresses this next week we won't be bringing him home like the doctors and us had hoped. Hopefully he will be ready the next week.
Our biggest fear right now is that we get him home, he gets pneumonia--or even a regular cold--and stop breathing, although this time we end up being the only people there to do CPR while we and our kids wait for an ambulance and paramedics to arrive.... Here's to hoping that never becomes a reality.
A few pictures from today:
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